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Posts Tagged ‘Anger’

How to have a good marriage

August 18th, 2010 Jeanette No comments

Contrary to conventional wisdom, good marriages are not made in heaven. They are very much made on earth, and between couples who have respect for each other. Without respect, no marriage can survive. If the man has ego, the woman has vanity. The two cant meet unless each bends down to accommodate the other.

For those who want to have a good marriage, they must learn to communicate. Lack of communication breeds indifference and mistrust, which over a period of time destroys the best of marriages. You must therefore learn to talk to each other if you want your marriage to survive.

Also, you must not hesitate to argue. You must discuss issues threadbare, even if you hold diametrically opposite points of view. A healthy argument washes away ill-feelings. Otherwise, they accumulate, and turn into sores that never heal.

You must remember that every relationship will have its pluses and minuses. There will be slights and imagined slights; frustration and fights. One way is to carry this baggage with you. The other is to discard it, and carry the moments you cherish. Your marriage will become much happier and purposeful if you do the latter.

You must learn to touch each other every day. A small touch, a light pat, a gentle caress have miraculous powers. They can sweep away anger and distrust, and make you feel light and cheerful.

Also, learn to spend time with each other. Dont allow your responsibilities, children or your work to come in between you. You will find that there will be less of misunderstanding and more of affection if you spend quality time with each other.

Yet another way to have a good marriage is to respect each other. Do not try to slight your partner, especially before others. It is one wound that never heals. Marriages can survive only on mutual self-respect. No one partner can assume the role of a superior.

You will find that as time passes your likes and dislikes grow. You tend to become less patient, and more demanding. Remember that just as you have a right to become more demanding so does your spouse. Such an approach or attitude is a sure recipe for disaster. There can only be clashes and no understanding if you refuse to change with time.

Marriage is more than a physical bond. Its an emotional relationship that is always on trial. You have to learn to be emotionally stable if you want to have a good marriage.

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Dealing With A Break Up – Love Yourself

August 13th, 2010 Jeanette No comments

When youre dealing with a break up its easy to get mired down in bad feelings. Youve got a broken heart, youre angry and you feel completely rejected by someone who claimed to love and care about you. It hurts, and its necessary to feel that pain when dealing with a break up.

But its all too easy to never quite get past it. Its okay to feel sad, depressed, lonely and even feel sorry for yourself for a while. But dont let your ex boyfriend or girlfriend ruin your self-confidence and self-esteem.

They did not want to remain in a relationship with youthats all it means. It says nothing about youits all about them. Its all too easy to start thinking things like youre not smart, funny, pretty or sexy enough for them, so maybe the fault lies with you.

Dont let yourself think this way! Its a big lie! If your ex said any of those things to you in anger, thats just what it was. They were lashing out in anger and pain to try to hurt you. Dont let it!

When youre dealing with a break up there are already so many bad feelings there that adding in feelings of inadequacy will only make you feel worse. And youll feel bad for a longer period of time. It can even sabotage your other relationships if you truly start to feel badly about yourself.

If you already have low self-confidence or self-esteem, these kinds of feelings will only send you spiraling down into a real mess of emotions. You have to understand that rejection is part of life, and just because one person rejects you it doesnt mean that youre unworthy of love and affection from other people.

If you feel at all like youre unworthy or that inadequacies that you have are why youre now dealing with a break up, try reading a couple of books about relationships and how to make them work. Read about how to be a more giving part of a couple.

Even if youre not the one at fault, it never hurts to learn more about relationships. You might learn some tips and gain some insight that can help your next relationship.

Next, try reading a book or two about how to gain self-confidence and self-esteem. The things you learn in those books wont just help your next relationship but theyll help you in every aspect of your life. If youre feeling badly about yourself from dealing with a break up, you need to read things like that to build yourself back up and help you get over it.

Read motivational books about self-confidence and personal power and really practice the tips they give to help you feel more comfortable with yourself. And if theres something about yourself that youre really not happy about, and its something thats bothered you for a long time, then change it.

Dealing with a break up can open doors to all sorts of self-improvement and self-love if only youll let it.

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How To Get Over Someone The Pain Will Someday Stop

August 9th, 2010 Jeanette No comments

Do you know how to get over someone? Do you feel like the pain is never going to stop? Do you wonder if your heart will heal? Do you wonder whether there will ever be a man or woman who you will find special again? If you have these questions, this article will show you how to get over someone.

How to get over someone starts with allowing yourself to feel the pain. You should know that it is okay to cry. Feel your way through your feelings.

At some point, your sadness will probably turn into anger. This is okay too. But, how you handle the anger will do a lot to show your maturity in the situation. The best way to embarrass yourself is to do lots of pranks and practical jokes to show your ex up. This is not how to get over someone.

Instead, direct your anger in more positive channels. For instance, write a long letter to your ex explaining how he or she hurt you. Tell them how it made you feel. Give examples. Tell them what you would like to do to them to make them feel the hurt you are experiencing.

But, whatever you do, do not send the letter! I repeat, do not send the letter. Instead, once you have composed it, light a candle and burn it. Theres something final about watching your words and your anger go up in smoke. Its a release that allows you to move on.

If you want to know how to get over someone, you need to let go. Dont rethink your decision. Dont imagine getting back together. Just move on. Realize that breaking up was the right decision and your soul mate is still out there waiting for you.

Try to keep your distance from your ex. If you have items of each others pick a neutral place to do an exchange. Settle up on any debts and break up any financial arrangements you have in common. Dont hang out as just friends. And, whatever you do, dont go stalking him or her by turning up places they might be.

Use this time to reconnect with your own friends. Often, when you are in a relationship, your own friends take a back seat to the love interest. But, after you break up, you have time to invest in these long term friendships that are there for you through thick and thin.

You also need to get back into the game. Oh, you might not feel like dating right away, but meeting someone for a cup of coffee or going on a double date to a hockey game can be a fun way to put yourself back out on the market.

Once you start living a healthy life, you start to figure out how to get over someone. Since your ex is no longer the center of your life, you begin to get some perspective. You can sort out what it is you want in your next partner and what it is that you wont tolerate.

Its not easy breaking up. But, you can use the tips in this article to learn how to get over someone.

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How To Get Over Break Up The Cycle Of A New Relationship

August 3rd, 2010 Jeanette No comments

Do you want to know how to get over break up? Are you wondering whether hell ever want you back? In fact, are you wondering if anyone, anywhere, will ever want you again? These feelings of low self esteem will get you nowhere. Thats why I want to show you how to get over break up.

There is a cycle for how to get over break up. First of all, you will feel hurt. Next comes anger. After you are over being angry, you can re-engage with the world. At that point, you will be ready for a new relationship.

If youre hurting, it means that you are human. Its okay to cry. Even if people are telling you that he wasnt worth the tears you are shedding, you know that a piece of you is now missing. Take the time you need to mourn the relationship.

In time, instead of feeling hurt, you will start to feel angry. You can do stupid things during this period if youre not careful. For instance, sometimes women do criminal things like slash their exs tires. Other times, they pull pranks or stunts that wont land them in jail, but will embarrass them down the road.

So, instead of letting out your anger in a dysfunctional manner, heres how to get over break up anger stage. Write a long letter about how he hurt you. Spare no detail. Spend a lot of time to get it just right. But, dont mail it. Whatever you do, dont mail it. Instead, get out a candle and burn it. Thats right, let your letter go up in flames and as the words turn into smoke, let your feelings go with them.

At this point, you are ready to take baby steps back into the world. Start hanging out with your girlfriends again. Youve probably given them the short end of the stick when you were so intense with your ex, so now is the time to reconnect. If they set you up with new men, venture out on a date. It probably wont lead to your next great love, but it will give you some confidence.

At the same time, you are going to have some free time in your life. Use this time to make yourself a better person. Hit the gym or take Yoga classes. Join a reading club at the local bookstore. Take a writing class. Reengage with the world at large.

You will probably be surprised at how much you had been missing when you were able to take for granted that a partner would always be there. As you develop this new perspective for the world, you will be preparing yourself for a new, and better, relationship.

Because, getting into a new relationship is the final sign that you have learned how to get over break up.

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How To Deal With A Break Up – 3 Ways

July 31st, 2010 Jeanette No comments

So the relationship is over and youre wondering how to deal with a break up. Maybe its the first break up youve had that really upset you. Or maybe its not your first and youre looking for answers because even after all this time you still dont know how to deal with a break up.

When a relationship ends you can have several reactions. You might be missing your ex boyfriend or girlfriend. Or you might be angry as hell and wonder what you ever saw in them in the first place. Youll probably feel a variety of things, and maybe several different emotions in the course of a single day.

Knowing how to deal with a break up is never easy, but there are 3 things you can do that can help you deal with the pain.

First, distract yourself with humor. You wont be able to get away from the sadness and anger youre feeling right at first. And many experts believe you shouldnt try to avoid it. Feel it and just let it happen. But you cant let this go on too long.

Once youve had that good cry or those days spent moping around the house, its time to distract yourself. Watch funny movies on DVD or go see a funny film. Talk to the friends who make you laugh. Go see a comic if theres a show in your area. Laughing will make you feel better and forget your pain for a little while.

A second thing you can do when learning how to deal with a break up is do something you couldnt have done while in the relationship. Did he dislike a certain kind of food and that kept you from going to that type of restaurant even though you love it? Did you not go to see a certain type of movie because he hated them?

Do things that you love that you couldnt do in the relationship. Youll feel a bit liberated and rediscover something you truly enjoy.

Third, stop think about relationships, period. The tendency for some people is to want to jump right into something new to provide a distraction from the old relationship. Try not to do this. Youll have to time for more relationships lateryou have all the time in the world. Focus on you for a change.

Think about your goals, without a boyfriend or girlfriend. Whats important to you? Have you always wanted to get more fit by lifting weights? Have you always wanted to have one of your poems published? Write a novel, get promoted at work, or learn to scuba dive? Pick something that youre passionate about, and do it.

Look at this time after your break up as an opportunity instead of a setback. Now you have time to focus on yourself. Do something that makes you happy and work toward a goal. How to deal with a break up is a very individual thing, so be a little selfish for a change and work toward something you really want.

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